nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
