How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize