Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
