We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
