Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm really into asian looking animals
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
