if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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