I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
3 2 1 whiskey
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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