I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize