Someone shit on the floor
Say something about gay babies.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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