I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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