Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize