Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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