Everything about him screamed your future.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
