garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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