google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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