dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
