no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently you make a good broom.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
