I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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