Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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