You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish my penis had a tongue
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
