He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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