then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
