I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
