Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think a kid would responsible me up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
