So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
