My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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