Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
