Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
