I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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