Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I intend to get homeless drunk
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
