My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Small penises have feelings too.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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