i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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