problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
