Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
