question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
