He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
