Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
