I love black thongs
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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