I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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