hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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