Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
