It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
