Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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