he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm like, not good at living.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
