I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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