i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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