I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
