it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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