Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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