i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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