Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
