She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
