Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
