i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize