I'm really into asian looking animals
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
