i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
do herpes really smell.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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