you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
