i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
