I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize