Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
