I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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