i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't deserve a penis
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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