Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
