Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He passed out mid-signature
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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