random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
