I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
