okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
