ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
